December 30, 2012
I was reading an article by Hilary Catling, LMFT talking about "Treating Trauma In The Family" and I wanted to share it with others. Today my husband received a phone call that his aunt had a heart attack and stroke and because she lives by herself she laid there for three days before anyone found her. She is currently on life support while her sisters fly to see her. As I spoke to my mother-in-law I could here the shock and denial as she shared the story. I explained to her that what she was feeling was perfectly normal and that she needed her daughters to help her pack and collect the things she needed to fly back to see her sister because it was all overwhelming and confusing right now.
My mother-in-law has just experienced a traumatic event in her life and she is overwhelmed, in shock and denial. This is a typical response when someone experiences a terrible event in their life. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their lives.
The definition of trauma is an injury (wound) to living tissue caused by an outside agent. A traumatic event can often feel like a wound,. Sometimes it may even feel like someone or something has pierced your heart.
The best way to support someone who has just experienced a traumatic event is to believe their story and give them unconditional listening. Sometimes they need to tell the story over and over again to make it real to them.
If someone experiences a traumatic event and does not process the emotions it can develop into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder where a person experiences nightmares and relives the trauma.
Please call me if you know someone who has experienced a traumatic event and needs helps. I am here to listen and be there for them. You can email me a kristi@counselingbykristi.com or my calling 949-200-6741.
Happy New Year!
Kristi Starkey
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Jesus Calling, Sarah Young
October 9, 2012
I was reading out of Sarah Young's book Jesus Calling and on October 5th she writes about Joy and I wanted to share what she says.
"Remember that Joy is not dependent on your circumstances. Some of the world's most miserable people are those whose circumstances seem the most enviable. People who reach the top of the ladder career-wise are often surprised to find emptiness awaiting them. True Joy is a by-product of living in My Presence. Therefore you can experience it in palaces, in prisons...anywhere.
Do not judge a day a devoid of Joy just because it contains difficulties. Instead, concentrate on staying in communication with Me. Many of the problems that clamor for your attention will resolve themselves. Other matters you must deal with, but I will help you with them. If you make problem-solving secondary to the goal of living close to Me, you can find Joy even in your most difficult days.
HABAKKUK 3:17-19; 1 CHRONICLES 16:27
Remember!!!
Blessings,
Kristi Starkey
"Remember that Joy is not dependent on your circumstances. Some of the world's most miserable people are those whose circumstances seem the most enviable. People who reach the top of the ladder career-wise are often surprised to find emptiness awaiting them. True Joy is a by-product of living in My Presence. Therefore you can experience it in palaces, in prisons...anywhere.
Do not judge a day a devoid of Joy just because it contains difficulties. Instead, concentrate on staying in communication with Me. Many of the problems that clamor for your attention will resolve themselves. Other matters you must deal with, but I will help you with them. If you make problem-solving secondary to the goal of living close to Me, you can find Joy even in your most difficult days.
HABAKKUK 3:17-19; 1 CHRONICLES 16:27
Remember!!!
Blessings,
Kristi Starkey
Friday, October 5, 2012
Do You Have A Blended Family?
October 4, 2012
Being part of a Blended Family has it's challenges and I have experience both from being a step-daughter and being a step-mother. When I was 20 years old my mom died of cancer and my dad remarried 1 year later to fill the void. It did not take long for my step-mother to become jealous of my relationship with my father. Navigating that situation was extremely confusing to me because I knew that my father's love for me was different than his love for his wife?
Fast forward 23 years later I married my husband who had a only son who is autistic. When you first read this you may think, oh no that must be a challenge? Well, actually you are wrong he truly is a blessing. Now, that does not mean there are not times when it is frustrating. Every so often I get the phrase "well my mom lets me?" My response varies depending on the situation. Other than those moments, he is a very loving young man who soaks in attention like a sponge.
It gets really sticky when couples divorce, remarry, and divorce again. There was an interesting article in the New York Times that you might want to read that talks about how messy it can be.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/fashion/-step-family-trees-with-tangled-branches.html?_r=2&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1349361946-zOOxs6Z8WvgCqshINaNp5Q
If you, or someone you know is in a blended family and needs help navigating and understanding how to work together as a family unit, please have them call me, Kristi Starkey, to schedule an appointment. Here is the link to my website www.counselingbykristi.com.
Blessings,
Kristi Starkey, MS, LMFT #52051
Being part of a Blended Family has it's challenges and I have experience both from being a step-daughter and being a step-mother. When I was 20 years old my mom died of cancer and my dad remarried 1 year later to fill the void. It did not take long for my step-mother to become jealous of my relationship with my father. Navigating that situation was extremely confusing to me because I knew that my father's love for me was different than his love for his wife?
Fast forward 23 years later I married my husband who had a only son who is autistic. When you first read this you may think, oh no that must be a challenge? Well, actually you are wrong he truly is a blessing. Now, that does not mean there are not times when it is frustrating. Every so often I get the phrase "well my mom lets me?" My response varies depending on the situation. Other than those moments, he is a very loving young man who soaks in attention like a sponge.It gets really sticky when couples divorce, remarry, and divorce again. There was an interesting article in the New York Times that you might want to read that talks about how messy it can be.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/fashion/-step-family-trees-with-tangled-branches.html?_r=2&adxnnl=1&pagewanted=all&adxnnlx=1349361946-zOOxs6Z8WvgCqshINaNp5Q
If you, or someone you know is in a blended family and needs help navigating and understanding how to work together as a family unit, please have them call me, Kristi Starkey, to schedule an appointment. Here is the link to my website www.counselingbykristi.com.
Blessings,
Kristi Starkey, MS, LMFT #52051
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Career Change Journey Day #2
October 3, 2012
So yesterday I wrote a post about finding office space for rent in Mission Viejo, but could not quite wrap my head around having a tree stump coffee table. Well, after having breakfast with my Interior Designer AKA Best Friend, I found out that tree stump coffee tables are the new trend. So I did a Google search and here is what I found!
List price for this puppy is $1,700! So, maybe I need to reconsider, or at least call and see the office in person? I think I need to ponder on it for a day or two. I guess I wouldn't have to worry about ruining the finish?
In the meantime, refer your friends to Kristi Starkey and my website is www.counselingbykristi.com
Blessings,
Kristi
So yesterday I wrote a post about finding office space for rent in Mission Viejo, but could not quite wrap my head around having a tree stump coffee table. Well, after having breakfast with my Interior Designer AKA Best Friend, I found out that tree stump coffee tables are the new trend. So I did a Google search and here is what I found!
List price for this puppy is $1,700! So, maybe I need to reconsider, or at least call and see the office in person? I think I need to ponder on it for a day or two. I guess I wouldn't have to worry about ruining the finish?
In the meantime, refer your friends to Kristi Starkey and my website is www.counselingbykristi.com
Blessings,
Kristi
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
My Last Career Train Stop
October 2, 2012
On August 1, 2012 I passed my second exam and was awarded my Marriage and Family Therapy License. Although the anxiety and emotions were high, I was able to contain them long enough to focus on the goal to pass my test. Now that I am licensed, I can plan my career as a Therapist.
So, what will my career look like? Well, I know what i would like it to look like but what God plans may be different! Currently I see clients in Costa Mesa but would also like to see clients in Mission Viejo, closer to my home. So the journey begins...and where do I start?
First, I have been praying for God's direction as to what my next steps need to be. My client load is light this week and what I realize is that not seeing as many clients has given me space to think and dream about my next steps.
Second, Finding a location in Mission Viejo that I can sublease from another therapist would be the best option. Maybe start with one day and go from there. So I thought, why not check Craigslist? If I could find a my kitty Toby, who has a great personality, on Craigslist? Why not office space for a therapist?
On August 1, 2012 I passed my second exam and was awarded my Marriage and Family Therapy License. Although the anxiety and emotions were high, I was able to contain them long enough to focus on the goal to pass my test. Now that I am licensed, I can plan my career as a Therapist.
So, what will my career look like? Well, I know what i would like it to look like but what God plans may be different! Currently I see clients in Costa Mesa but would also like to see clients in Mission Viejo, closer to my home. So the journey begins...and where do I start?
First, I have been praying for God's direction as to what my next steps need to be. My client load is light this week and what I realize is that not seeing as many clients has given me space to think and dream about my next steps.
Second, Finding a location in Mission Viejo that I can sublease from another therapist would be the best option. Maybe start with one day and go from there. So I thought, why not check Craigslist? If I could find a my kitty Toby, who has a great personality, on Craigslist? Why not office space for a therapist?
So I checked Craigslist Orange County and for $300/month Voila, I can sublease an office 2 days a week. Perfect location. However, I'm not really into tree stump coffee tables!
Well, at least I know there is a possibility that I might find something I like so i will keep trying!
Until then, please refer any friends or family to me either Costa Mesa/Newport/Huntington Beach area or the South County area because I am starting the journey. http://www.counselingbykristi.com/
Blessings,
Kristi
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Final Stretch For My Marriage and Family Therapy License
May
14, 2012
In
May of 2003 I decided that I wanted to make a career change by leaving the
fashion industry and becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I had only completed my Associate’s Degree so
I had to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology through the School for
Professional Studies, and then my Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, both from
Vanguard University.
In
May of 2009 I began to work towards my 3,000 towards licensure that I needed to
sit for my exams. I would see clients at
Journey’s Counseling Ministry, as a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, 10
hours and week and College Hospital, as a social worker, 4 days a month, all
while working full-time at Vanguard University.
In November of 2011 I completed my 3,000 hours and am now studying to
take my State Exams for my Marriage and Family Therapist License.
To be
in the final stretch of my journey is amazing.
I have worked for 9 years to attain my goal. I am nervous about taking the two exams but
know I am on the home stretch to become a Licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist.
I
meet with prospective students regarding the School for Professional Studies all
the time and tell them that it is never too late to go back to school. You just have to decide that you want to make
a change and focus on the goal to get it done.
Blessings,
Monday, April 23, 2012
Studying For My MFT Exam
April 21, 2012
As I await for my 3,000 hours to be approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences, I have begun to study for my written exam. The exam is 200 questions and you must complete the exam within a four hour time frame. I have learned that the most effective way for me to retain information is auditory, with 100% of my attention focused on listening and learning. So, I signed up for classes with Gerry Grossman Seminars.
Saturday was my first class and I was a bit nervous because I had invested a lot of money into the classes and was hopeful that I would have a strong facilitator. I walked into the classroom and was greeted by "Hi Kristi" from a coworker at Journeys Counseling Ministry. What a nice surprise! Then, the facilitator Kristen Hudson, MA, MFT introduced herself and started teaching. I knew this was a good investment and I was going to learn alot.
We began to review the DSM IV TR. Kristen shared with us what was highly probable on the exam and had us skim over what was low probability of being on the exam. She gave us acronyms to memorize for studying, and advice on what to look for in each question. Kristen gave great ideas of how to differentiate between diagnoses and how to rule out options given in each answer. I felt the information was very valuable and is given me structure to study for my exam, a chunk at a time.
So, here I go to cram for my exam!
Wish Me Luck,
Kristi
As I await for my 3,000 hours to be approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences, I have begun to study for my written exam. The exam is 200 questions and you must complete the exam within a four hour time frame. I have learned that the most effective way for me to retain information is auditory, with 100% of my attention focused on listening and learning. So, I signed up for classes with Gerry Grossman Seminars.
Saturday was my first class and I was a bit nervous because I had invested a lot of money into the classes and was hopeful that I would have a strong facilitator. I walked into the classroom and was greeted by "Hi Kristi" from a coworker at Journeys Counseling Ministry. What a nice surprise! Then, the facilitator Kristen Hudson, MA, MFT introduced herself and started teaching. I knew this was a good investment and I was going to learn alot.
We began to review the DSM IV TR. Kristen shared with us what was highly probable on the exam and had us skim over what was low probability of being on the exam. She gave us acronyms to memorize for studying, and advice on what to look for in each question. Kristen gave great ideas of how to differentiate between diagnoses and how to rule out options given in each answer. I felt the information was very valuable and is given me structure to study for my exam, a chunk at a time.
So, here I go to cram for my exam!
Wish Me Luck,
Kristi
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