Studying For My MFT Exam

April 21, 2012


As I await for my 3,000 hours to be approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences, I have begun to study for my written exam.  The exam is 200 questions and you must complete the exam within a four hour time frame.  I have learned that the most effective way for me to retain information is auditory, with 100% of my attention focused on listening and learning.  So, I signed up for classes with Gerry Grossman Seminars.


Saturday was my first class and I was a bit nervous because I had invested a lot of money into the classes and was hopeful that I would have a strong facilitator.  I walked into the classroom and was greeted by "Hi Kristi" from a coworker at Journeys Counseling Ministry.  What a nice surprise!  Then, the facilitator Kristen Hudson, MA, MFT introduced herself and started teaching.  I knew this was a good investment and I was going to learn alot.


We began to review the DSM IV TR.  Kristen shared with us what was highly probable on the exam and had us skim over what was low probability of being on the exam.  She gave us acronyms to memorize for studying, and advice on what to look for in each question.  Kristen gave great ideas of  how to differentiate between diagnoses and how to rule out options given in each answer.  I felt the information was very valuable and is given me structure to study for my exam, a chunk at a time.  


So, here I go to cram for my exam!   

Wish Me Luck,
Kristi

Angels Give Down Syndrome Man A Chance

April 18, 2012

This is a wonderful story that ran in the OC Register about how the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim hired a young man with Down Syndrome, to be the greeter at their team store.  Trevor is an avid Angel's fan and knows all the players and stats! 

When we have my stepson, who is autistic, I am always amazed at how much love and joy he has in his heart, and how contagious that love and joy becomes.  On Friday night we are taking my stepson to an Angel game and we are going to stop by the team store to meet Trevor Hendershot.  I'm pretty certain that his love for the Angel's is contagious and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he has a whole lot of love and joy to go along with it.


Blessings,
Kristi

Autism on the Seas

April 13, 2012

This post is for families who have young adults with special needs.  My stepson is 23 and autistic.  Although he is high-functioning, he is still unable to live on his own.  We have him every weekend and he is so happy, loves to share Jesus with everyone he meets and very social.  

Six years ago we took my stepson on a seven day cruise to Mexico.  He loved it! We would go up to the midnight buffet for a snack, or his dad would bring a snack to the room and share it with us.  We went horseback riding, watched cliff divers, experienced live entertainment, and much more.

Today I learned that several cruise lines offer cruises for adults and kids with special needs.  There is a website http://www.alumnicruises.org/Autism/Autism_Home.htm where you can search for cruises where staff members will tend to your child/young adult/or adult with special needs.  Amazing!  They also have a Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/autismontheseas  

So... if you know of someone with a child with autism or special needs they may want to check out this website.

Blessings,

Kristi

 

In the Raw: Seven Misconceptions About Therapy by JENNINE ESTES, MFT

April 10, 2012

by JENNINE ESTES, MFT 

In my counseling office, I work with people from all different walks of life. Each person has a unique step, story, and understanding of the world.

My job as a counselor is to tune into each specific client’s need and focus in on the goal at hand.

One speed bump I often run into while I going down the journey with my clients is that they tend to have a incorrect beliefs about how therapy is supposed to turn out.

Some people are right on. They know it will be hard work and that counseling will take some time, but others have different expectations (or as I like to call them … misconceptions) about the counseling process.

Here are some of the more common misconceptions people have about (individual and couples) counseling:

1. Assuming one size fits all: Unlike certain clothing items that are "one size fits all," therapy is not! Picking the therapist that is right for you is very important, and no decision should be made in haste. One size does not fit all. With therapy you have to shop and research. Do you homework and interview them. You will know when it’s right after you have done your part. You need to know the therapist’s "school of thought" (or theory), your comfort level with the counselor, and their approach. Learn more on how to find a counselor here.

2. Asking your therapist to lie for you: Really …? Don’t ask the therapist to lie for you to simply prevent a fight between you and your partner. You are basically attempting to keep your relationship dynamic stuck and it can actually perpetuate the problem. Don’t try to get the counselor to lie that you tried to schedule the appointment earlier and it was the therapists fault to simply save a little heartache and conflict. If you are afraid of fighting, then stop lying!

3. Expecting the therapist to take a side: Not gonna happen. No matter how much you feel like your side is right (even when it most likely it is) my job as a therapist is not to take sides. Plain and simple. Plus, you probably have enough friends and family taking on that role. If I take sides, then I am simply jumping on board to a dynamic that isn’t working. Nothing will be accomplished and now the two of you have more ammo for your fight … such as, “The therapist agrees with me …” and the relationship stays stuck with no solution.

4. The therapist will make everything better: Nope! The therapist is in the room to help you understand the relationship on a deeper level, help you navigate through the struggles and create a safe environment. It is YOUR responsibility to work at the relationship. The therapist will do everything in his/her power to help you as a couple or individual, but if you aren’t willing to do the work … you will be wasting your time (and money).

5. Expecting the therapist to keep a secret: Secrets keep relationships apart and if it is a big secret, then to expect your therapist to keep set that information aside and try to work on your relationship (when they know exactly what issue needs to change) is unrealistic. If you are doing something that requires you to have it a “secret,” then open your eyes and take a peek at just that! On that same note, ask the counselor about their no-secrets policy. If you don’t want your partner to know something, don’t share it with your therapist.

6. Keeping important information from the therapist: If you don’t tell the therapist significant events, then the therapist doesn’t have the whole picture of the relationship. Don’t keep affairs, physical fights, or any other important events hidden. The more the therapist knows, the better.

7. The fights have slowed down, so we can stop early: Just because the fights have stopped for now or “things are getting better,” doesn’t mean to stop counseling. Many people stop prematurely and then things go back to the old way. Just because the fights have stopped, doesn’t mean you have a long-term change. If you think you hit the goals in therapy, speak with your therapist and make sure all the work is done.

Counseling isn’t something to take lightly. Your life is more important than money, time, or your ego. Don’t hold back and worry about the “what ifs.” Commit to it. Make this your start to a better you.

Good Friday

April 6, 2012


Today is Good Friday, my favorite day of the year!  For many years my girlfriend Carol and I would attend the Good Friday Service at Mariners Church where we would write on a 3X5 card our sins, forgiveness of others, and things we wanted to give up to God.  Then, we would get up, walk to the wooden cross, and nail them to the cross.  This was always very powerful experience and would be the beginning of good things to come.


This year, as I sat in the Good Friday Service at Saddleback Church, I could not help but think about my friend Carol.  She is 54 years old and was recently diagnosed with Advanced Dementia http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/dementias/dementia.htm.
I knew something was very wrong because she would repeat the same story over and over.  When she talks to you it is like words get stuck between her brain and coming out of her mouth.  Yet, she can talk about the past in complete sentences.


My girlfriend read the book Still Alice http://www.amazon.com/Still-Alice-Lisa-Genova/dp/0595440096 and told me that it really helped her to understand our friends illness but I have yet been able to pick up the book.  In time will read it but not now.


Today I my friend.  I know she is still alive but I miss her friendship and sharing our journey through life together.


Blessings and Happy Easter,
Kristi

Anger

April 2, 2012

Today I was reading an article by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) discussing the effects of anger on families.  The problem with anger is that it is infectious and can spread throughout an entire family and then be passed to the next generation.  If you, or someone in your family has an anger problem, you need to seek counseling immediately to stop the pattern.  To read more click here http://www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/Consumer_Updates/Effect_of_Anger_on_Families.aspx

The AAMFT has made a list of how to know if your loved one has an anger problem, which I have listed below:

1. Becoming more angry than is appropriate in regards to mild frustration or irritation.
2. Having feelings of guilt or regret over something that you have said or done in a fit of anger.
3. Repeated social conflict as a result of anger outbursts (lawsuits, fights, property damage, school suspensions, etc.) 
4. Family and or friends approach you with the concern that you need help managing your anger.
5. Having chronic physical symptoms such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal difficulties, or anxiety.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you believe that you or someone you love has an anger problem by calling 949.200.6761 or by emailing kristi@counselingbykristi.com.

Regards,

Kristi Starkey